Of course you, my terrific tens of readers, have been patiently waiting for an update to my thoughts on supportership of an English Premier League team from December and today you shall not be disappointed... except that to begin to understand my pain, you must watch this entire 4:04 video, which will feel more like 19 minutes of unanesthetized dental horrors:
The lyrics are insignificant. What is important is the utterly painful sounds and visuals this cubic-zirconia of an 80s musical gem offers.
Now that you've endured it, you must know watching that pales in comparison to the utter calamity and torture of watching a passenger train named Wigan Athletic wrecking down the side of a mountain... over the course of six years. Six years of mental anguish. Six loooong years. Six very looooong years of constant 'what-ifs', 'why-nots', and head-shaking. To be fair, there were some interspersed highlights, albeit counted on less than one-hand's worth, of which nearly all revolved around a final-week reprieve from the sporting gallows.
No matter the outcome of Wigan this season, I have now officially severed all emotional and sentimental ties to this club and after some deliberation have settled on a new club. Here are the finalists:
Sunderland - a considerably-skilled squad with great kits, decent financial backing, great fans, and storied rivalry with local opposition Newcastle. The addition of one of my favored managers in Martin O'Neill was certainly a boost to the club and my consideration. Ellis Short, an American with Irish heritage, is the current majority owner after being a partner within the previous owners' consortium. The Black Cats appear to be on the upswing although have dallied up and down with the Premiership as recently as the mid-2000s
Everton - a storied and historic club whose 108 years in the top flight of English football is second to none. Coupled with steady manager in David Moyes, the English-owned outfit has maintained an upper-half level. Over it's history Everton has won the top flight 9 times, FA Cup 5, and League Cup twice. They have American keeper Tim Howard, have loaned-in American Landon Donovan, and maintain an historic and friendly rivalry, The Merseyside Derby, with 'The Reds' of Liverpool. The 'Blues' or 'Toffees' enjoy modest, yet continual success in the top flight, and dalliances with European football, often in the shadow of cross-river rivals Liverpool.
Aston Villa - owned by American Randy Lerner, I have some admiration for a club who hails from what I call the 'Chicago' of England - Birmingham. It is the second largest metro area outside of London with historic recognition for manufacturing and production. Blue-collar all the way, their storied Second-City Derby with rivals Birmingham City reminds one of the Cubs-White Sox divide. They also have one with nearby West Bromwich Albion which recalls the historic Chicago Bears-Green Bay Packers rivalry. Aside from football, Aston Villa has done incredible things within its community (such as donating 300 days of hospice care and the front shirt sponsorship space to Acorns Children's Hospice. They also champion local farming and food systems and provide considerable support to local employment and training services).
Certainly not an easy choice for me but I finally have settled comfortably on one of these clubs...
"And the winner is"...
EVERTON F.C.
Another reason I considered Everton, which I didn't state earlier, was that when I went about first selecting a club in 2006, I was down to Wigan and Everton. 'Smaller Upstart' vs. 'Establishment'. While I respected both views and with little separating the two then, I then made my final selection (rather embarrassingly now) on the style of the Home shirt.
With some years of experience now behind me, I can see what drew me to Everton originally is what I like about them today. Granted, their kits aren't the most nattily designed, but do have a continuity which I like. You may soon see me in something of a solid Royal Blue with the Everton badge, so henceforth, you may consider me a 'Toffee' or a 'Blue' and a fan of "The People's Club".
I extend by thanks to all of you who conscientiously offered suggestions and gave well-reasoned input. It was not in vain and did help me determine what was most important in the evaluations of teams. Nil Satis Nisi Optimum is the motto and 'Nothing but the Best' is what I intend to give them and also look to receive.
As Survivor sang, " the search is over, you were with me all the while". It is my sincere desire to not be at this point again someday, so now, as an Evertonian, I must be true.
With little mystery left as to the fate of Wigan Athletic's EPL status (despite not having even passed the mid-season/ December break yet), I can therefore begin the process of determining what may be next for me as a fan of English Premier League Football.
It is with some regret (but more relief) that I must remove myself from the scattered hundreds of fans worldwide who support Wigan Athletic, for there is certainly no logical way this team will survive the top shelf of English Football beyond this season.
Since I have decided that personal sanity and mental well-being is more important than any loyalty to my very first EPL team, I am finding this bit of freedom in looking for a new team quite welcome. This is not an indictment of loyalty (more the opposite actually - maintaining loyalty to self-preservation), nor is it band-wagon-off-jumping as I see it more as self-preservation than fleeing a disaster. Think of it as losing that first love. Years from now, there will be clarity and a realization that it just wasn't meant to be, but you will always look back with fondness and wistful sentiment at those early days.
Unfortunately, and what does cause some considerable conflict at this point, is that much of what Wigan Athletic does as a professional sports organization, I have great respect for. By most all reports, owner Dave Whelan is generous, loyal, professional, and runs his local club in a proper manner. It is therefore sad to see such an honest, hard-working (albeit relatively small) club have to be relegated to a lower division because they cannot compete with the over-spending, hardware-seeking zealot owners from around the world who choose to 'smash-and-grab' their way into the top flight by spending beyond their means, often leaving their 'toy' with little choice but to be sold off to the next-in-line suck-errr... buyer.
I want the little club to triumph by being a well-run, financially-conservative club with an eye to longevity whose top-flight status is not a perennial question. Maybe that's too much to ask. Maybe FIFA's much-needed and more-equitable Financial Fair Play rules phasing in over the 2012, '13, and '14 seasons will come after the demise of Wigan's top-flight status. At any rate, it's become too much for me to shoulder anymore as a fan and I for my own good I need to change teams. Top level stability is nothing but a predetermined security blanket in the American sports world to the delight of mega-buck owners with little impetus to defend their status and detriment to lovers of a more pure style of competition.
So in looking for a new team, and being faithful to my original tenets of club selection back in 2006 (in order of priority; EPL-level club, non-'Top-4' club, nice looking kits, English-owned, newer to the EPL), I am now a crossroads from which my future EPL fandom will set out.
Option 1. Choose one of the three newly-promoted sides each season to cheer on with survival being the benchmark for success. Option 2. Pick another club whose chances of survival are significantly greater and meets as many of my original tenets as possible. Option 3. Get over my own limits, grab a big club, and bandwagon it like everybody else.
Here's where you, my beloved readers, come in:
I am open to your input, so you therefore will help determine what my decision will be.
Give me your selection of the three Options above in my comments section below. The most-popular suggestion will showdown with my personal favorite option to determine the system for selecting my next EPL club.
Hopefully all of us had that sweet-spot time in our lives when we retained the joy of the insular and innocent phase of early childhood, yet were old enough to begin to view and appreciate the larger, mature world around us with an inquisitive sense of wonder. I place this time in my life at approximately ages 7 to 12, which dates approximately 1974-1979.
For most at the time, the singular most accessible vehicle for entertainment (beyond ourselves) was television. VCRs were only an amazing bit of expensive technology on the horizon for the general public and cable TV was just a fantasy for those of us who lived outside the largest 30 American television markets. I look back at this being a fairly fortunate time to be watching TV, because it seems the looming 'threat' of cable programming to over-the-air TV made for some interesting gambles by the big three networks.
One particular show comes to mind and evidence of its popularity and influence on TV shows remains to this day. I refer to the pseudo-talent contest know as The Gong Show. Short of listing a synopsis and history of the show, which can be found numerous other places on the internet, I merely note the sheer fun and frivolity that occurred on the show as a standard but in particular a recurring bit known as Gene Gene the Dancing Machine. Often thrown into the show at 'spontaneous' moments, the crowd would go wild and other cast members joyfully played along with the popular and special bit that had almost nothing to do with the contest format of the show. Gene was a stagehand whose wonderfully simple dancing, positive demeanor, and 'everyman' appearance eventually became popular enough to become a requested and regular feature on the show.
The pure fun that this segment brought (at a time when economic and post-Vietnam War woes had the USA in a bit of a funk) was a welcome respite and elevated Gene to celebrity status. I wish to thank Chuck Barris and Gene for brightening those darker days of the late-70s. Only recently did I find that, sadly, Gene lost both legs in 2001 to complications from diabetes. I am all the more thankful that we can relive that fun space in time via YouTube.
Without further ado, I present Gene Gene the Dancing Machine...
