OK, last week was spent vacationing (to my extreme delight) with my wife and kids and I'd have to say it was darned near perfect. Weather, travel, lodging, events, eats, etc., all smoothly flowing and delightful.
Oh, except for automobile traveling which revealed some things I'd rather not have seen...
You guessed it - A Compendium of Car Travel Beefs...
Chief Beef #1. (and I DO mean the BIG #1 on the list) - On any multiple-laned roadway, please note (especially those from Ohio for some reason) that the leftmost lane is for passing ONLY. I know this is no uncommon bitch, but THE DAMNED RULE IS: S-T-A-Y T-O T-H-E F * - I-N-G RIGHT LANE until (and ONLY until) you MUST pass someone. Please note that this is quite different than "I will stay in the left lane because my cruise control is set 0.8 mph faster than the car to my right. I will move back over to the right when there is at least 100 yards of gap to get over - I don't care how much faster you are going when you encounter me in the leftmost lane."
At my peak frustration, (somewhere only a scant 3 hours and 12 minutes into the 17 hours of driving) I had visions of the great 80s arcade game Spyhunter, and equipping my vehicle thusly so as to dispatch of these road-offending and discourteous nitwits. Again, it's very simple - stay to the RIGHT until and only until you encounter and must pass a slower vehicle. You are not entitled to move to the left when there is traffic in those lanes. You will wait until such time as that traffic has cleared. This rule is applied to each and every successive move to the left and the Rule will also have you return to the right as the pass is complete. How about just stay in the right lane? That should be easy enough.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
TK's Triple Entendre Plus...
Now I love a good double entendre as much as anyone, but I saw pic this on the Indycar.com website News page this morning and laughed... hard.
They even noted the double entendre on the website. I'm sure there are adults in that very newsroom (or wherever their news is made) having a good laugh at the pic and the triple entendre it carries. Without his expression, you could not have warped to the 3rd humor dimension. Now that I think about it, TK's car was on fire last week in Milwaukee which adds yet another dimension... WOW, quadruple entrendre! Love it!
I know it's an ad by 7-Eleven who is a sponsor of TK, but in a version for hetero-males, I'd have opted for driver Ana Beatriz. Oh, just happens I have a picture of me with her...
Look how thrilled she is (ha) to be taking a pic with some random dude with a fat head (me) at Indy during the rain delays of 2008. I can say she was very gracious and polite (and cute). I did my very best to be civil and polite as well but the beverage you may see in my hand was approximately #7 for the day already (no, it's not Fresca) and I am concerned I may have come off a bit too bold and informal in my approach to request a picture. Photo timestamp: Friday, May 23, 2008, 11:29:18AM. HEY, it's Indy weekend, don't judge.
It's Friday, enjoy yo'self! It's a celebration bitches!
They even noted the double entendre on the website. I'm sure there are adults in that very newsroom (or wherever their news is made) having a good laugh at the pic and the triple entendre it carries. Without his expression, you could not have warped to the 3rd humor dimension. Now that I think about it, TK's car was on fire last week in Milwaukee which adds yet another dimension... WOW, quadruple entrendre! Love it!
I know it's an ad by 7-Eleven who is a sponsor of TK, but in a version for hetero-males, I'd have opted for driver Ana Beatriz. Oh, just happens I have a picture of me with her...
Look how thrilled she is (ha) to be taking a pic with some random dude with a fat head (me) at Indy during the rain delays of 2008. I can say she was very gracious and polite (and cute). I did my very best to be civil and polite as well but the beverage you may see in my hand was approximately #7 for the day already (no, it's not Fresca) and I am concerned I may have come off a bit too bold and informal in my approach to request a picture. Photo timestamp: Friday, May 23, 2008, 11:29:18AM. HEY, it's Indy weekend, don't judge.
It's Friday, enjoy yo'self! It's a celebration bitches!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Musings on Majestic Debauchery at Indy
It has taken nearly a week for my body to regulate itself from the majestic debauchery that was Thursday, May 21st through Monday, May 25th, 2009. Six and one half days to recover from four and one half days of fun. Regardless of economy, the brain continues to write checks the body can't cash.
This downward spiral - annual Indy debauchery - leading to premature aging - leading to lower tolerance for debauchery - leading to longer recovery time, means that logically this cycle cannot sustain itself without changing one or more of the variables. Aging sucks and nowhere is it more apparent in my life than during my 5 glorious days in Indy. I therefore conclude that I willingly accept this aging process and that the variables must change if I wish to continue. Play smarter, not harder.
I will say that with age (er, experience) does come some benefit.
This year, we became a Lot 3G sensation, not only as in years past simply for our infectious and mirthful comradeship, but for our sheer technical brilliance in fun-having. One member of our group funds his annual Indy trip in a most elegantly symmetrical way - he carves ice sculptures during the winter months for festivals and events and contests. In show of legendary Indy trip spirit, he arranged for two of his fellow ice-carving brethren to come down, gratis, and carve three blocks of ice into an Indycar, the Borg-Warner trophy (aka Vodka Luge), and of course a .95 scale Danica.
Campers and camp lot supervisory personnel came from far and wide to witness the greatest show of Indy 500 weekend artisanship Lot 3G may have ever had. Later, one particular carving became the centerpiece in the now legendary tale of Saturday night debauchery. Those present will regale this story for years. During the noise of chainsaws, heat of sun, and coolness of spraying ice, I sat back for a moment to absorb that evening in Indy with recollections of the roof tarring scene from Shawshank Redemption: (Red narrarating) "We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy - he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer... You could argue he'd done it to curry favor with the guards. Or, maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again, if only for a short while."
And that's the beauty of my annual Indy weekend - my good, good friends and I, feeling normal again, if only for a short while...
An investigative crowd begins to gather once the noise begins...
A nearly complete Tony Kanaan Indycar with ICS logoed base...
Me fondling er, checking Danica for accuracy. When you tweak, you win...
Running the first (of many) shots through the Borg-Warner's internal spiral chilling tube. The chilled shot comes out the opening seen in the base.
This downward spiral - annual Indy debauchery - leading to premature aging - leading to lower tolerance for debauchery - leading to longer recovery time, means that logically this cycle cannot sustain itself without changing one or more of the variables. Aging sucks and nowhere is it more apparent in my life than during my 5 glorious days in Indy. I therefore conclude that I willingly accept this aging process and that the variables must change if I wish to continue. Play smarter, not harder.
I will say that with age (er, experience) does come some benefit.
This year, we became a Lot 3G sensation, not only as in years past simply for our infectious and mirthful comradeship, but for our sheer technical brilliance in fun-having. One member of our group funds his annual Indy trip in a most elegantly symmetrical way - he carves ice sculptures during the winter months for festivals and events and contests. In show of legendary Indy trip spirit, he arranged for two of his fellow ice-carving brethren to come down, gratis, and carve three blocks of ice into an Indycar, the Borg-Warner trophy (aka Vodka Luge), and of course a .95 scale Danica.
Campers and camp lot supervisory personnel came from far and wide to witness the greatest show of Indy 500 weekend artisanship Lot 3G may have ever had. Later, one particular carving became the centerpiece in the now legendary tale of Saturday night debauchery. Those present will regale this story for years. During the noise of chainsaws, heat of sun, and coolness of spraying ice, I sat back for a moment to absorb that evening in Indy with recollections of the roof tarring scene from Shawshank Redemption: (Red narrarating) "We sat and drank with the sun on our shoulders and felt like free men. Hell, we could have been tarring the roof of one of our own houses. We were the lords of all creation. As for Andy - he spent that break hunkered in the shade, a strange little smile on his face, watching us drink his beer... You could argue he'd done it to curry favor with the guards. Or, maybe make a few friends among us cons. Me, I think he did it just to feel normal again, if only for a short while."
And that's the beauty of my annual Indy weekend - my good, good friends and I, feeling normal again, if only for a short while...
An investigative crowd begins to gather once the noise begins...
A nearly complete Tony Kanaan Indycar with ICS logoed base...
Me 
Running the first (of many) shots through the Borg-Warner's internal spiral chilling tube. The chilled shot comes out the opening seen in the base.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)